Our Own Horror Story

JoJo fell out of bed three nights ago and fractured her clavicle (collar bone). And I do mean fractured it. I'm too sleep deprived to go into any more details. Suffice it to say, my darling, easy going three-year old channeled her dark side--an alter ego fueled by pain, frustration, boredom, and several Tylenol-with-codeine-cocktails. Picture the demure little damsel from The Exorcist. I'm pretty sure JoJo's head was spinning when she bellowed (in a voice four octaves lower than usual), "I NEED ANOTHER MOVIE IN MY DVD PLAYER AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!" Who knew she had it in her??

Wisecracks aside, she is in a lot of pain. And it's hard to see. But when we find a position she can endure, she's back to being my precious lamb.


Sorry Halloween 2008 was such a bust for you JoJo. Maybe we'll have a dress-up party with some of your friends when you get all better!

E's Halloween, on the other hand, was picture perfect. Class party, trick-or-treating, family Halloween party with his cousin K. In his world, it doesn't get much better than that!

Thanksgiving, Christmas--here we come!

Mr. Obama: A Few Moments, Please

Barack Obama has occupied a lion's share of my thoughts these past few days. I've often said that I wish we conservatives had someone like him--someone whom inspires and rallies unprecedented support from every walk of life. While I've vocally disparaged his political and ethical positions, I have never doubted his sincerity. I truly believe that he believes what he says. By his own admission, he's no saint. But I get the sense that he's the type you could probably trust with a secret. Something tells me he's likely to keep his word when it's critical to do so. I'm especially impressed by his commitment to his family, which by every indication, is genuine and unwavering.

As of late, I've often thought about what I would say to Obama if given the chance. Forget about lottery fantasies. My windfall daydreams are all about having a good chat with Barry. You know--the guy. Not the politician. No reporters, no cameras. No calculated talking points or "gotcha" questions. I would, however, bring along a few photos--images that belie the Obama who has justly earned the scorn of conservative America. Here's how it would go...

***********************************************

Mr. Obama. Barack. My fellow American, my brother in Christ...

When I see these clear expressions of tenderness

and of whimsy

reflecting an unfeigned enjoyment of children....

I can only wonder why you have chosen to actively and staunchly support abortion. I ask this not in a rhetorical, argumentative way. I'm not asking for a well crafted, special-interest-group kind of answer. What I genuinely yearn to know is how a man of your intelligence, your empathy, and your compassion, can so obviously display concern for one young life...

and simultaneously reject the worthiness of another?

You've told us that determining the starting point for humanity is "above your pay grade". I'll trust that you simply fumbled with an unintentionally glib response in an attempt to distance yourself from the question that has become the political Achilles' heel of our time: When does life begin?

So, I humbly submit...If you, like so many others, are unsure when human life is deserved of full legal protection, might we agree that there is at least the possibility that our humanity begins at conception? As such, if there is even the slightest possibility that life does indeed begin long before a child leaves her mother's womb, wouldn't the most prudent course of action be determined by a willingness to err on the side of caution--in this case, on the side of life?

If not, help me understand, why not? Please. I've yet to hear a remotely convincing argument when I have posed the question in this manner. So, I hand it to you, Mr. Obama. I know you are capable of great reflection and intellect. I'm told you are a man of character. Please use these gifts when you respond. But first, do me a favor. Remove your presidential candidate armor. Base your answer in the courage you've mustered as a father. Root it in the respect you developed as a grandson. Couch your answer in language that honors the love you have known simply because you are your mother's child.

I can only hope, only pray, that the answer you now provide will reflect far more of the sentiment we see in your mother's loving gaze...

and much less of the political rhetoric we have come to expect...

May God bless you and inspire you to truly hear the pleas spoken on behalf of those with no voice at all.

American Church Leader Weighs In...Finally

Finally, an American Catholic Church heavyweight, Denver Archbishop Charles J. Chaput,publicly cautions against support of Barack Obama:

"To suggest - as some Catholics do - that Senator Obama is this year's 'real' pro-life candidate requires a peculiar kind of self-hypnosis, or moral confusion, or worse...the work of Democratic-friendly groups like Catholics United and Catholics in Alliance for the Common Good have done a disservice to the Church, confused the natural priorities of Catholic social teaching, undermined the progress pro-lifers have made, and provided an excuse for some Catholics to abandon the abortion issue instead of fighting within their parties and at the ballot box to protect the unborn.Pro-Obama Catholics "seek to contextualize, demote and then counterbalance the evil of abortion with other important but less foundational social issues."

Not surprisingly, Archbishop Chaput chose to qualify his words with the notation that he made this statement, not on behalf of the Church, but as a private citizen. Traditionally, the clergy has been resistant to oppose or support political candidates for fear of losing the IRS tax-exempt status attributed to all qualifying, religious organizations. Still, you have to hand it to him...he used a precarious loophole to unequivocally communicate what is surely the collective conscience of our Church leadership. And you have to believe that the Catholic powers-that-be knew he was going to do it. My guess is even the Holy Father gave at least a tacit approval of the Archbishop's public declaration of these gutsy assertions.

My only criticism is one you might expect: What took you guys so long?? We're in the homestretch, with the McCain campaign flailing as much as 3-4 percentage points in the polls. I am convinced that more Catholics would side with their Church if presented with a clear declaration as to which side this is. On the face of it, one would expect that the appropriate choice in a candidate should be obvious based on Church teaching. But that's just it. Many Catholics are confused on even the basics.

The Church must consistently and repeatedly counter the near endless barrage of hokum spewed by non-Catholics and "new age" Catholics alike--seeking to reinvent traditional tenants of the faith. American Catholics are especially vulnerable to the prolific forces which work long and hard to convince us that a vote for Obama indeed equates to support for the sanctity of life. After all, he opposes the Iraq War. And he seeks to implement universal health care. More than a few Catholics are convinced that his positions amount to a pro-life stance. Throw in Obama's charm, charisma, celebrity status, and all around likability factor and what you have is a Catholic Obama supporter, albeit an errant, Catholic Obama supporter. Unfortunately, however, their errant statuses in no way invalidate their votes. Like any politician, Obama will gladly take 'em where he can get 'em. And I'm pained to say, he'll get 'em from many, many Catholics.

In the last ten years especially, we have seen our Church deftly wield the power of PR. And yet, when it comes to Obama and his unwavering support of abortion, Church communication has been tepid. As such, it does appear that Catholic leaders have been hesitant to put more of their own skin in the game. And because of it, we repeatedly witness Catholic Christians badly losing their way. It is a certainty that any Catholic committed to Obama's campaign has strayed from the core teaching of the Church. The thing is, I'm not at all convinced that these Catholics, brothers and sisters in our own parishes, are even aware that their pro-Obama support is tantamount to a repudiation of Catholic Doctrine. We're told during Lent that a complete refusal to fast and to sacrifice as directed is seriously sinful. And yet, similar direction with regard to withholding our vote from a politician known to actively support the death of hundreds of thousands of human beings, is often voiced in timid and unenthusiastic tones.

I'm thrilled that at least one daring Catholic man-of-the-cloth is willing to make the matter perfectly clear... Better late than never, anyway.

I've often said that we can learn much from our Evangelical friends. We have grown accustomed to their ability to form a united and consistent voting block--one that repeatedly influences and perhaps even sways electoral outcomes at every level. If most American Catholics voted in alignment with Church teaching on the issue of life, Obama's chances for winning in November would be non-existent. This cohesion, this much coveted solidarity, is a worthy goal but has been utterly elusive.

We have much work to do. Let's all put some skin in this game--even if the topic is uncomfortable and perceived as overly controversial. When we remain silent, and I mean any and all of us, the reality is that children die.

Over and over again.

Mommy's One-Liner Hall of Fame

"This aint no Etch-A-Sketch.That's one doodle that can't be un-done homeskillet!"
-From "Juno", Screenplay by Diablo Cody

The T-Shirt Says It All

courtesy of Zazzle

Palin Sanctioned ?

Alaska Panel Says Palin Abused Power In Firing?

To that I say...So what? Frankly, I would have done the same thing. If I knew that my ex-brother-in-law had tasered a 10-year old boy, I too would have done everything in my power to see the guy out-the-door. And if his boss didn't want to oust the creep, he'd be gone too. Apparently, that's the way it happened. Oh well.

I agree with Oracle. Palin's got testicular fortitude. You know...balls. I'm not looking for a squeaky clean do-gooder who follows every rule in the book. For that matter, I'm fairly certain that such a person couldn't accomplish anything in our system of government. If anything, this just further confirms that she does the right thing despite legislative minutia enacted to protect the status quo. ABC News reported that the sanction in question imperiled her status as a reformer. If anything, it seems to me that it CONFIRMED her status has a reformer.

You just have to see past the main stream media's "spin". By the way, is it just me or does this "sanction" seem particularly well timed?

We're in the home stretch. Let's not get side tracked by these trumped-up diversions.

The Most Crucial Election Issue

I have often heard..."Why do YOU PEOPLE make abortion the number one issue in every election?" I've spoken and blogged about this at length so I won't reinvent that wheel on this post.

This video, however, speaks volumes. It's powerful and unequivocal. Mind you, it is not politically correct. But the piece truly and clearly delineates the position that the Church has taken on this and other issues. As Catholic Christians, we are called to elect leaders who will uphold the basic tenants of our doctrine. It's just that simple.

Getting Down To Business

Yesterday, Oracle and I were more than a little deflated about the prospects of the upcoming presidential election. McCain has a major hill to climb...largely because many voters are choosing to associate his policies with those of George W.'s train wreck. With Bush leading the charge, the House and Senate passed the mother-of-all economic bail-out bills--with the intent of restoring confidence on Wall Street and re-invigorating grid-locked credit markets across the globe. So far, this hap-hazard, ill-conceived scheme has created a mere ripple in our current cesspool of an economy. For $700 go-zillion, the U.S. tax payer is entitled to a tsunami of relief. C'mon...you and I know that the tidal wave 'aint coming folks. With nearly 100+ leading economists clearly stating that this spending orgy will only delay the economic pain that we must endure anyway, it seems clear that we've been had. What we bought, friends, is what the old timers used to call a pig-in-a-poke. This little piggy is gonna soak us for a long time indeed.

So, out of sheer anger alone, I'm not willing to give up. John McCain has got his detractors among the core base. No doubt. But if you think this latest government boondoggle is a mere stone's throw from a centralized economy, just wait until Barry and Company get a chance to impose their Michael Moore-esque policies on the misty-eyed proletariat. Celebrities who insist on using three names will be downright miffed by the change in cadence when COMRADE is added to their highly crafted monikers. Comrade Evan Rachel Wood. Comrade Robert Downey Jr. Hmm. Not quite the same ring, I dare say.

OK...I'm being snarky. Do I really think Obama is a card carrying communist of the Trotsky ilk? Of course not. But do I think that he has an elitist mentality? Yes! Do I think that he will impose a bevy of burdensome regulations on business and the free economy? Yes! Will he tax everything that moves? Yes! Does he value individual freedom over group think? No. Does he have ANY experience that lends itself to resolving the most fierce economic crisis to be seen in decades, perhaps in our lifetime? No, no. no.

So yes, McCain and Palin have election catch-up work to do. A lot of it. But the race is not over. Not by a long shot.

Four weeks left. A lot can happen.

Let's get crackin'.

World's CUTEST Car

Y'all know I luvs me some vehicles!

A few forward thinking townsfolk have buzzed by in these cuties.

They're called SmartCars, I'm told.

If you've been to Europe, especially Italy, you know that they have similar cars all over the place. Not sure if the trend will take hold here in the U.S. but something tells me it just might. After all, no one really expected the VW New Beetle nor the Mini Cooper to have the long term appeal that both mega compacts have enjoyed. (I really miss my 2000 New Beetle manual 5-speed turbo. But I sold it to a dear friend in the Bay Area who reports it is still going strong with well over 100K miles!)

We'll have to keep this chunky little car on the mommy radar screen. (FYI: the scaled down coupe starts at around $12K and the cabriolet starts at $16K. When is the last time you heard car numbers that low--for something that has this much style. And, incredibly, the safety ratings are surprisingly high. Amazing.

We love, love, love.

My Crummy Church Sign

You too can make the church sign of your dreams!

For What It's Worth

"Loved the wedding. How about inviting me to the marriage?" - God

(author unknown)

Prayers Please

Dear Friends,

Once again, I ask for your help. Our family faces yet another loss.

...My dear Aunt Melody is quickly losing her battle with ALS/Lou Gehrig's Disease...For the days or hours that remain of her fifty-seven years, please join me in prayer for her journey home. Pray for courage, for peace, and for an end to her suffering...I have no doubt that God is near. When we parted this August, I told her that very, very good things awaited her. I'm not sure she believes this and I cannot imagine enduring a very painful death without the comfort and assurance that our Faith brings. So mostly, I pray that she will feel His Grace and lose her fear...and her doubt.

If you can, take a moment to listen to "Prayer" by Gina Loring. It's a perfect and beautiful sentiment for anyone who feels doubt and needs His reassurance.

(Thanks Gina. Your voice is from Heaven above.)

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Update: Melody passed on this evening. Thank you for all of the e-mail and your commitment to prayer. Her children and husband will continue to need our prayers as they cope with this loss.

Taking a Break

I'm behind on everything. And I mean everything. Not only is mind clutter at an all time high, but so is house clutter, car clutter, basement clutter, garage clutter, body clutter. Once again, I am knee deep in just about anything that you can think of. It's getting me down.

I love to write but the reality is that journaling, blogging, ranting…it's taking up more time than it should. True to form, when I enjoy something, I can't just do it a little bit. I've got to go all out. What began as an online family journal has blossomed into something that takes a great deal of my time. It occurred to me the other day that writing about my mommy life life has somehow become more time consuming than actually participating in it. Meanwhile, a few bills have been late when the money is there to pay them. Phone calls/e-mail go unreturned. Home projects are in a state of indefinite limbo. My exercise routine is non-existent.

Here's the bottom line: Had I conducted my work career with my current level of scattered, disorganized crisis management, I would have been out the door in short order. How sobering it is for me to contemplate that I was once considered a role model of effectiveness. Now, I'm the queen of flying by the seat of my pants. Getting it done, sort of, by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin. (At 41, trust me, there is plenty). Forgetting this, overlooking that. Getting enough done so that we don't have a family implosion. But not doing the necessary things, in a timely manner, to make our home calm and peaceful.

So, I'm taking some time off from this diversion that I so dearly love. I will not be creating any new posts until August. In the meantime, the immediate future is packed with school field trips, First Communion parties, showers, church, two vacations, t-ball games, soccer camp, visits to the zoo, swim lessons, cookouts, get-togethers with friends. And yes…taking better care of ME. Dropping some weight, eating right, exercising.

In my case, I have to make a choice between writing about life and actually living it. Lots of folks can do both and I think I'll be one of them in the not-so-distant future. I'm just not one of them now.

The blog archive will remain online and I will respond to any post comments or blog related e-mail as appropriate.

In the meantime, have an incredible, love-filled, family-focused summer.

John Lennon said it best…

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

God bless each and every one of you!

Who Says There's No Free Lunch?

I do.

But I've got an even better freebee! If you're in the market for a pre-school size backpack monogrammed with "McKenna"--you've hit pay dirt, my friend! Pottery Barn Kids just couldn't get it together and sent me the incorrect size not once, but twice. Because the backpacks are monogrammed, they don't want them back, so they told me to keep them both for free. We like free. Free is our friend.

The free backpack is the smallest one, far right, with whales.

Free can be your friend too. If you have a daughter named McKenna (or know someone) who wants this backpack--it's yours. Yes, for free. Just send me your address and your little McKenna will be toting in style in just a matter of days. If you feel like reimbursing me for the postage, I won't argue with you, but no biggie if you you don't get to it. I just hate to see something this cute sitting around collecting dust.

Please send your address via my e-mail--which is listed in my blog profile. Please, to protect your privacy, do not provide any identifying information in the comments section of this post.

P.S. This isn't some weird scam or promotion. I'm just a mom trying to pay it forward a little bit. If you're a conspiracy theorist, you might think I've created 200+ posts over the last three years to lure you in to something "not on the level". But that would be your alternate reality. Proceed to your space ship.

Yes, Marge...I guess there is a free lunch. Sort of.

UPDATE 5/3/08: One of the two backpacks has been given away. Only one left!!!!

Heroes: Famous and Otherwise

These are mine. In no particular order.

Jane Austen

(This image is thought to be the only authentic portrait of her likeness in existence. It is believed that she was 14 when she posed for this painting.) She never married and died relatively young at 42. Yet her writing set the standard in her genre for centuries to come; no one before or since has so perfectly captured both the wit and heartache of courtship. Think of her as the Carrie Bradshaw of the pre-Victorian set.

Father Jim Mifsud

This outspoken, blunt, and charismatic priest is no stranger to ruffled feathers.. At ten years old, I was mystified by this larger than life personality. In one breath, he would challenge us fifth graders to devote our lives to the service and care of others. In the other, he would yell about some *&^!@! motorist who cut him off on the *@#!#! freeway. Fill in the expletive of your choice...because he probably used any and all of them. While patience and decorum were not his strong suits (at least they weren't in 1977), no one could ever question his devotion to the core mission of Christ. His commitment to "the least of our brothers" has been nothing short of amazing. But he could lose patience easily and show much consternation over perceived apathy, resignation, or lack of involvement on the part of his parishioners. Let's just say he never appeared to withhold an opinion. From his direct involvement in the care of orphans in Korea to job placement for those with troubled backgrounds, Father Jim never asked anything of others that he wasn't willing to do himself--several times over.

Frida Kahlo

Her life fascinates me. She made an indelible artistic mark despite the very large shadow cast by her husband, Diego Rivera. There are some who credibly argue that she was the more gifted painter of the two. I'm not an art critic but I do find myself drawn to her work--which illustrates a life marred by tragedy and nearly unbearable physical pain. And yet, to relegate her painting to the work of a tormented soul is far too cliche'. You truly get the sense that despite everything, she believed in the rejuvenating power of beauty. A kind of beauty that surrounds us but is not always visible to the dismissive eye and the closed mind.

Cat Stevens aka Yusuf Islam

Gave up the drug called fame at his career pinnacle in 1978 and retreated to the recesses of his faith and its culture. His beautiful, deeply spiritual "Morning Has Broken" is moving and timeless-- as are "Father and Son", "Peace Train", "Wild World", and "Oh Very Young". I don't share his politics but I'm nonetheless convinced that there must be a great deal of good in a man who could compose such lyrics.

JPII

He made it pretty hard NOT to love him. You kinda just knew that under the white vestment was the happy, devoted, hardworking priest who had to pinch himself to make sure this whole papal thing wasn't a dream. Besides his status as national hero in Poland, the once Bishop Karol Wojtyla stood firm against the Soviet's desire to rid Catholicism from the national landscape. He vocally supported Lech Walesa and the Solidarity movement to protect the labor rights of workers. And as Pope John Paul II, he charmed the world with his desire to share the papacy in the form of several world tours. I, like so many others, gasped in horror as Sinead O'Connor shredded his photograph on national, live TV. I'm sure he had his human frailties. But there was nothing to justify such blatant irreverence for a man who exemplified peace and social justice. By the way, would it be disrespectful of me to say that I thought he was an attractive man in his earlier years? I hope not. I'm just saying....

Oscar London, M.D. (aka Arlan Cohn, M.D.)

My former physician, employer, confidant, and friend. I met him as a young adult and he was my first brush with someone truly literary. His patients adored him to the point that he literally had a circle of "groupies". You were never sure just who was going to show up at his office...poets, writers, homeless people, political activists, pundits, students, business leaders. He's the only doctor I know who could wisecrack during a less-than-pleasant exam and actually make patients laugh to the point that they forgot about the discomfort. He came to my aid and provided counsel on countless occasions. And he introduced me to Creme Brulee. How could he not be a hero?

Eleanor Roosevelt

Took lemons and made lemonade more frequently than most people realize. Rather than allow the infidelity of her husband to destroy her, she reinvented the purpose of her life. Not blessed with beauty, she relied on a her intellect, a direct but likable personality, and an acquired self reliance to pursue her goals. While she remained FDR's wife and curiously, his good friend, the discovery of his long standing love affair with Lucy Mercer forever altered her perception of a woman's place in the world. To only devote oneself to the needs and aspirations of a man was foolish in her mind. So she changed her course and discovered she could make a difference. Now that's my kinda woman.

William 'Sandy" Muir, Ph.D.

By way of introduction, he shared with our small class that he was a recovered, compulsive liar. Wow. Nothing like a complete bearing of one's soul to initiate the first-day-of-class meet and greet! He traversed the hilly campus terrain via a golf cart as he was physically impaired due to childhood polio. A Berkeley professor who was...(gasp) conservative. He inspired me to reexamine the liberal indoctrination of my college career. And while my full transformation did not take place until several years later, I often credit him for planting that initial seed. He also gave me the courage and incentive to interview a then, well known politician. That one-hour meeting with a California state senator taught me a lot about the personal nature of politics and human frailty. This topic actually deserves a post all its own. Another time.

My maternal grandfather, Elmer Whistance

WWII veteran, Battle of the Bulge hero, recipient of the Silver Star for gallantry in action. And I never knew any of this until I was an adult. When the war ended, these guys just came home and re-started their lives. He was humble, kind, patient, and generous. I really miss him.

Steve Martin

Most folks still associate Steve Martin with his "wild and crazy guy" persona of the 1970's. Or his performances in a host of family-oriented, feel good movies (some of which I really like, including Parenthood). But if that's all you know about this immense talent, you're really missing out. Yes, he's a comedic giant. He is also an incredible writer of both fiction and prose. His ability to articulate insight with subtlety and yes, humor, really is of the highest caliber. I appreciated his film Shopgirl but I truly loved his novella on which the movie is based. I can't really describe the essence of Martin's appeal except to say that he somehow just "gets" women. That is to say, he describes female weakness, talent, allure, treachery, and magnificence in much the same way a woman might. Somewhere along the line, he learned an awful lot about what makes us girls tick and he tapped a great literary talent to share his spot-on observations. Even at his most cynical, there is a tenderness about him that is endearing.

Anne Frank

Had she not died at Bergen-Belsen, this young girl was undoubtedly destined for greatness. If you have never read "A Diary of a Young Girl", you simply must. It is considered one of the most important written works of the twentieth century. If you knew nothing of her background when you read the book, you would be flabbergasted to learn that its author was a mere teenager. While much of her subject matter is consistent with the concerns of a young girl, the depth of the insight she provides greatly belies her chronological age. Having visited her family's hiding place in Amsterdam, I found myself imagining I was her. I peered from the very window she describes in the diary, my imagination captured by the incomprehensibility of her lengthy and bleak captivity in the annex. And it struck me that the only way she escaped these protective yet suffocating confines was to write. Yes, her real-life story ultimately ended in tragedy. But I, like so many others, still see her with that charming, hesitant smile, penning the latest thought with the skill of an author far more educated, infinitely more seasoned than Anne could ever hope to be. She forever possess the hopefulness that is entirely a product of her eternally preserved youth.

Meryl Streep

An actor's actor. Brilliant, unmatched performances. Dignified yet personable public persona. No tabloids, no controversy. The consummate, professional artist who performs her craft and keeps her private life private. No one could ever, ever be Sophie but Meryl Streep. No one.

Laura Ingalls Wilder

I'm as enthralled with the writer as I am with her "Little House" image. There is a small but vocal contingent of scholars and fans who make the argument that most of the Little House books were heavily ghost written by her daughter, Rose Wilder Lane. After years of my own research and examination, I do not share this opinion. Lane had a strong hand in the editing process, admittedly. But Lane's own work never rivaled the critical nor financial success of her mother's. Most believe, as do I, that they were partners who brought unique skills to the table. Editing is not writing. Writing is not editing. Bottom line: Laura's real life was every bit as interesting as the fictional version which continues to enchant millions of readers. Few other sources provide such a charming, innocent, and surprisingly accurate depiction of the the American pioneer experience.

Sister Helen Prejean

Her life's work is the subject of the film, "Dead Men Walking". Sister Prejean's ministry continues, driven by the mission of abolishing the death penalty. She bases her commitment upon the simple but oddly controversial tenant that life is sacred. Not just innocent, new life but ALL LIFE. Like other Catholic leaders such as Cardinal Bernadin, Sister maintains that a true pro-life position defends not only against abortion but against suicide, euthanasia, embryonic stem cell research, and yes, capital punishment. Her question, "Would Jesus pull the switch?" instantly speaks to the heart of the matter. What's more, she decries the insitutional racism and inherent social injustice that leads to a disproportionate number of poor, disenfranchised men residing on death row. Many conservatives, who are traditionally pro-death penalty and often mitigate the impact of social injustice, find her message troubling. Perhaps it is because so many conservatives quote Jesus freely but can't or won't adhere to the reality of His message--which values compassion, eschews vengeance, without compromise, regardless of circumstance. Sister Prejean says it best, "Is God vengeful, demanding a death for a death? Or is God compassionate, luring souls into love so great that no one can be considered an enemy?"

Modest Earth Day Contribution

It's not like we're the Sierra Club over here. But we do our part where we can. This year, with the help of the local forestry department, our family planted a new tree in our side parkway. At the moment, it appears to be of the Charlie Brown variety. In fact, a few neighbors have snickered at our humble, bare little addition. That's OK. Charlie Brown didn't care if they laughed at his tree either. They'll see...in a few years, it will be beautiful. And because the planting coincided with the passing of my dear mother-in-law, we're commemorating our plucky sapling in her honor...

After all, she really did have a knack for transforming humble, every day things, including plant life, into lovely adornments. I don't think she believed this about herself but I certainly thought it of her.

In a few short years, with some TLC and a little Divine inspiration, we're hoping our spindly, little transplant will bloom in all her glory and provide us with yet another reason to call our house a home.

What Drives Married People Crazy?

I am told by a person of some authority in these matters that the number one source of disagreement among married people is...

THE DISHWASHER

I'm not kidding. The bizarre reality is that a significant number of America's wedded sweethearts instantly morph into enemy combatants--all because partner A believes dishes should be scoured, scrubbed, and rinsed BEFORE being placed into the dishwasher. Never mind the pesky rumor that the appliance was designed to, uh... WASH dishes. Partner B crams dishes into the machine with enough caked-on, baked-on food to feed the family all over again. Later that night, partner B prays that partner A sleeps through the melee as a chicken bone pummels grandma's gravy boat and water jets rhythmically hurl the shattered remains throughout the dishwasher, creating a cacophony of glass, ceramic, and metal.

Not that we have any personal experience with this scenario, mind you.

While the dishwasher standoff continues, other, more intrepid forces seek to divide devoted soul mates. Let's start with our closet.


The trend in new home building is the "his and hers" walk-in closets. In our case, we have not been so fortunate. Thankfully, the space known as our closet, is huge and well-appointed. In this case, however, huge is not big enough. Here's why:

J's side

Note the organizational precision, utilizing Dewey decimal methodology

My side

The mystery of the sphinx is more decipherable than the method to this madness.

J's shoe area

Why would you need any more than this?


My shoe area

I could use some more shoes


J's bedside table

Alarm clock discretely hidden behind picture to the left.


My bedside table

Archaeologists may be called in to sift through layers of artifacts.

You could argue that this is a simply a case of neatness vs. messiness. And you may have a point, at least to some degree. But there's more to this story. J tends to value neatness in our private, living spaces while I'm far more cognizant of the areas that "company" sees. J will leave dish washing soap near the kitchen faucet, whereas I always place it under the sink. I can't stand fingerprints and smudges on entry doorways. J never notices them. J get the willies when he sees crumbs between the gaps in the kitchen table and I couldn't care less. I'm very consistent about my coaster usage; J barely knows what a coaster is. Yes, my shoes are housed in the bomb site that is my closet, but at least they're consolidated in one area. J tends to remove shoes, mid stride, and let them fall where they may, which could include conspicuous areas such as our front entry hall, the kitchen, or the stair landings.

What other household realities occasionally tug at the tranquility of our domicile?

J leaves piles of nuts, bolts, string, tin, and plastic ties on any available, flat surface.

I stack extra cookware/bakeware in the oven.

J will only use white towels and washcloths.

I keep five different varieties of shampoo in the shower at all times.

J can't stand the garage to be messy. I couldn't care less.

I can't stand for our cars to be messy. J couldn't care less.

J leaves lights on all the time. I constantly turn them off.

I never perform updates or routine maintenance on my computer. J keeps his in pristine, completely updated condition.

It goes on and on...and yet, we keep chuggin' along. Doing pretty well actually.

As to the hotbed that is the dishwasher, let's just say we retreated to our respective corners.

Sometimes a standoff is the best you can hope for...

Northern Exposure Fans Only...

I found the final scene from the final episode of my favorite TV show of all time. If you're not a Northern Exposure fan, just skip this post because it won't have any real meaning for you.

After watching this tonight, it came to mind that this show probably wouldn't fly on network TV these days. If you've ever watched the likes of today's network TV dribble...a popular show like CSI:Miami... and, like me, found yourself wondering how such overly-stylized, outlandish, and cheezy entertainment made its way on the airwaves, you are not alone. Compare it to the subtle, textured, and allegorical story lines of Northern Exposure, and you just find yourself wondering...when did entertainment become soooo mediocre and unimaginative; so removed from the unpretentious beauty of day-to-day life?

The first time I watched this episode, I had just met my husband...so everything about this clip makes me smile. Such a happy, hopeful time. When Maggie dances with Chris, you really believe that she's finally, finally found the one. There was hope for me yet...

Missing Her

Slowly, the reality of life without my mother-in-law is starting to take shape. We're all back to our routines, shuffling our kids to and from school, planning meals, paying our taxes, planting spring flowers. The usual. But we all seem to be a little detached, preoccupied with just how much the day-to-day has changed. Today, I confronted at least a half dozen "missing Millie" moments. As an example…for the last several years, her Friday, weekend check-in call was just another part of my late morning routine.

What do you guys have goin' this weekend? Is Jimmy traveling next week? Oh, that's a long week for you dear. You gotta get out and get a break. Did you watch E.R. this week? What about Gray's Anatomy? How are the kids doin', OK? Me? I'm fine Leigh, OK...Maybe you guys could come over on Sunday. It won't be anything big, OK?. I have a pork roast I got at the IGA. You'll never believe what I paid for it. OK...listen...that's my other line...why don't you just come on Sunday, OK? I don't know who's comin'. Whoever can come, come OK? Love you guys…

How off kilter and lonely the day felt without that call. That's the crazy thing about grief, I suppose. Yesterday, consumed in my world of kid busyness, I managed to avoid the void, so to speak. Today, however, memories emerged with each passing hour. It seemed like the most benign item spurred a recollection, and with it, a pang of sadness. As I pulled out that bent, oxidized strainer to rid the dreaded pulp from E's juice, she was surely right there in my kitchen.

Leigh, that was my grandmother's and I can't tell you how much this old, worn out thing has been used. I can't believe you're still using it. Leigh, if you like this, I got all kinds of stuff in that basement you can have. Oh, it's such a mess down there…who knows where anything is, OK? Oh, I hope the dear Lord takes me first so I don't have to be the one left with it all…

I giggled through my tears. You got your wish on that one, Mil.

Meanwhile JoJo bounces into the kitchen, hoping for a snack. I wipe my tears and attend to my little curly-Q.

"Whats da mattah Chippy?"

"Oh, I'm fine…Just a little sad about Grandma today".

"Oh…I wuv Gwandma!", JoJo says.

I do too, sweetie. I do too.

And so it goes. Life continues.

I miss you Millie. We all do.

JoJo's New Fortified Friend

Another glimpse into my three-year old daughter's alternate reality...

JoJo made a new three-year old friend at my son's t-ball practice.

"I just love my new friend, Golden Gwaham", she swooned.

"Uh...sweetie, I think his name is just Graham. You might be mixing him up with the breakfast cereal", I cautioned as I chuckled.

"Oh Chippy. You cwack me up. There's no ceweal named Golden Gwaham! His mommy just named him that because he is soooo shiny and new".

Alrighty then.

Golden Graham it is.