Why is God So Loud?

At bed time, Ethan asked why God is so loud. Of course, I had no idea what he meant. The conversation went something like this...

Ethan: Well, when we go to church, he's really loud. Is he that loud at home?

Mommy: Ethan, are you talking about God or Father Don?

Ethan: You mean Father Don is different from God? I thought he was God.

Mommy: No, Ethan. We've talked about this. Father Don speaks ABOUT God. Father Don is a man. You know, like Daddy.

Ethan: Daddy doesn't wear dresses Mom.

Mommy: Yes, that is true Ethan. Now, about the loud part. Father Don wears a microphone so that everyone can hear him in the Church.

Ethan: Mom, he doesn't have a microphone! Microphones are the the things you hold when you're a rock star.

Mommy: That's one kind of microphone. Father Don's is very small and attaches to the outside of his, well uh... dress. But we don't call it a dress; it is called a vestment.

Ethan: So, does he talk that loud at home?

Mommy: No sweetie. He doesn't need a microphone at his home.

Ethan: You could probably use a microphone when me and McKenna horse around and are screaming and not listening to you. Father Don can use it to yell at his kids.

Mommy: Not a bad idea Ethan, except that Father Don does not have children.

Ethan: Are you kidding me? I thought you said his name was FATHER Don.

Mommy: In his case, FATHER is kind of used like MR. It's a title.

Ethan: I don't understand. Why doesn't he have kids?

Mommy: There's a lot to explain here honey and it's getting late...

Ethan: I'm pretty sure he has kids.

Mommy: No. The children you see with him are from your school. He isn't their Daddy though.

Ethan: Oh. Isn't he going to get some?

Mommy: Honey, priests do not get married and they do not have children. This is a deal that they make with God.

Ethan: Is he sad about it?

Mommy: I don't think so sweet bear. He made the choice to just give all his attention to God and to tell people about how great God is.

Ethan: OK. But maybe he doesn't have to tell people SO LOUDLY.

Ethan: Mommy, why are you laughing?