Leigh-isms

Nora Ephron wrote a really funny and very on-point book about aging, vanity, motherhood, and more: I Feel Bad About My Neck. I just loved it. Her observations are perfect. Some include:

A woman can't own too many black turtleneck sweaters (Amen sister. I must have 5)

Don’t buy anything that is 100 percent wool even if it seems to be very soft and not particularly itchy when you try it on in the store.

The plane is not going to crash.

Anything you think is wrong with your body at the age of thirty-five you will be nostalgic for at the age of forty-five. (At 40, I'm already there.)

If the shoe doesn’t fit in the shoe store, it’s never going to fit.

There’s no point in making pie crust from scratch.

If only one third of your clothes are mistakes, you’re ahead of the game.

Now, some of my own:

Go to Church when you want to the least.

You just have to dress for your figure.

I don't care what you say, feet are ugly. No matter what you do to them.

You must have friends who are women.

Poor grammar, both written and oral, is judged very harshly.

If you don't have any female friends, time to figure out why not.

The best marriages aren't always obvious.

Women are very hard on one another.

Your hair stylist is worth the money.

You cannot and should not do your own hair coloring. Ever.

Beauty is not simply organic; it can be created.

Women CAN have it all...just not all at the same time.

College is always worth it.

Flip flops should be reserved for tropical, third world countries.

Nothing looks more tired than unpolished shoes with scuffed toes.

Own at least one thing that you could not bear to part with.

A nice fragrance can change your mood.

A well organized linen closet is a worthy goal.

A parent who does not document her children's lives through photos and words is shirking a major responsibility.

Use sunscreen every day of you life.

Never, ever economize on a bra.

Find at least one thing to do that you love so much you lose track of time.

Learn to apologize well.

Buy the best quality you can possibly afford.

One of my primary goals as a mother is to make good memories for my children.

Full-time day care and full-time mommy care should both be avoided when possible.

Once you drive a German car, all others pale.

Ask someone over for dinner who doesn't get many invites. You'll both feel better.

Complete as many personal goals as possible BEFORE having children.

High thread count sheets can make up for a really bad day.

You will never spend less than $100 at Costco.

See a live performance at least once a year.

Dressing children is one of the joys in life.

Display books in your home.

Puppy breath is one of the best smells in the world.

Fresh flowers make any room prettier.

That party you are dreading will usually end up being enjoyable.

Most of the time, you're never going to use that coupon you cut out.

Receiving a handwritten note in the mail is like manna from Heaven.

Nivea lotion works as well as the $40 stuff you bought at Nordstrom.

Talk to your son about super heroes.

Every once in a while, you need to think about when you are wrong.

Balancing your checkbook to the penny is a waste of time.

If you wear black pants more than once a week, you're wearing them too much.

Decide what you want and then figure out the money. Not the other way around.

Hearing your daughter say "twubble" (trouble) is one of the cutest things in the world.

Admire humble people and act accordingly.

People who don't read for pleasure are really missing out.

Putting away folded laundry is a dismal chore.

Well fitting undergarments can make up for all kinds of things.

Wearing absolutely no make-up is almost as bad as wearing too much.

Shopping at Target is more fun than several things I can think of.

People who don't like animals scare me a little.

Put the shopping cart back in the designated area instead of teetering it against the lamp post closest to your car.

Beyond a wedding band, men don't really look good in jewelry.

Clutter and disorganization chip away at your sanity.

When you want to throttle your wayward children, pull out the baby albums.