Friday, February 23, 2007

Heartbreak By Spanking

My heart broke in two today. McKenna was giving me a REALLY hard time measuring her foot so that I could order shoes for her. Kicking, screaming, the whole deal. I gave her a quick swat on the bottom and you can't believe the reaction I got. The biggest tears in the world. So sad...not whiny. She couldn't believe her mommy would do that. I am so torn. I just feel awful. I want her to trust me to know that I would never really HURT her and now I wonder if I have broken that trust. On the other had, it certainly got her attention and we managed to get her feet measured.

Oh, but that look of horror on hew sweet little chunky face!

I wish that I could be one of those moms who had the confidence to not feel guilt and angst over a benign but nevertheless ATTENTION-GETTING bottom swat. But I do feel guilty.

Some days, this mommy thing is just so hard. If you're not a mom, you just can't understand. I thought I understood all of this before I had children. I didn't.

1 comment:

John Eckroth said...

She'll thank you later. Yes, I remember the spankings and bars of soap in my mouth (Ralphie?), down the line I know it's apart of 'learning' and growing up. Child abuse is one thing, parenting is another...