As I helped her change into her PJs tonight, it occurred to me that I can remember back to nearly the age that she is now. Just barely. It really hit home that one of my most important roles is to create the best possible memories for her. And to prevent the really, really bad ones whenever humanly possible. 'Cause the bad ones--well, they just don't ever go away. They become manageable, tolerable. But the most beautiful day can be marred by a triggering photograph, an odor, a song. A blistering distraction from all that is beautiful, well, and good.
What that means for me, now, is that self-fulfillment, exploration, discovery--well, they're just nothing compared to the safety and protection of both of my children. If that means a few coveted accomplishments become placeholders on the proverbial back burner--so be it. If it means that I'm not the friend I should be or the multi-tasker I ought to be--oh well.
As I snuggled with McKenna this evening, I promised her that this mommy will always have her back. And Ethan's too.
No matter what.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
My Baby Girl...Nearly Three
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