Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Oracle Speaks..and Borrows a Few

As a follow-up to "Leigh-isms", Oracle decided to throw in a few pearls of her own:

If you don't have on lipstick, you don't look done.

Don't spit up because it will land in your face....meaning never say never.(Mirtha B.)

Berkeley is sister city to the world but they can't fix the damn potholes. (Jimmy B.)

What is the point of having kids if you don't make them do chores.

A little fear in a kid is a good thing. (I am not that great at this one.) They should never think they have you where they want you, because then you are screwed.

Always shave your pits.

College is not for everyone, but if not college, then trade school.

If you look back and think High School was the best time of your life, then your life is pretty pitiful. You peaked at 17. This is true even if high school was great.

Good penmanship is a good thing.

Always make your bed.

Print your photos. People look at albums, not computer files.

Taxes suck.

If you make an effort to be happy, generally you are. If you need a pill for this, by all means, take it.

How come the biggest proponents of "diversity" don't understand that that extends to diversity of ideas. Few of them know any born-again Christians but almost all know a Latino trans-gender socialist. (Of course this is an exaggeration, but you get my point.)

I have a God-given right to the parking space in front of my house.

Wear your seat belt.

There is nothing wrong with liking James Taylor, Rod Stewart, and Barry Manilow. Because I like easy listening does not mean I have a character flaw.

Learn English!

Hamsters are vermin.

Dressing your little girl in cute clothes is one of the joys in life.

Who the hell lets their kids have Bratz dolls. Go ahead, teach your kid to be a ho.

Tampax was a GREAT invention.

Why do salads made by someone else always taste better than ones I make myself?

Finding a good parking space in the City is a signal to me that my day will be a good one.

If you put out good vibes, generally good ones will come bouncing back.

The older I get, the less I like fighting. Yes, I used to enjoy a good argument years ago.

A book address book is better than a computer one.

Trees make houses and neighborhoods look better.

Nurses will sell each other out in a heart beat, but docs will cover the asses of their colleagues, even when they need to be hung out to dry. I think this is really a male/female thing at heart.

Having it "all" is a lie.

You will probably scar your kids for life no matter what you do, and some day they will be on the couch blaming you, so screw it. Just do your best.

It is good to say no to your kids.

Your kids will find your weaknesses and use them against you. They are very clever.

Being punctual is a virtue.

Sugar beats salty.

You can't have too many photos.

I don't get the point of scrap booking.

One decent vacation a year is necessary.

The older I get, the less stuff I need.

Kids need to go to bed early. On average, kids today don't get enough sleep.

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